My parents are dentists (scary, I know). When I asked them once how much they make and they told me, I realized that my mom makes a little bit less money than my dad. When I asked her about the reason as to why they give my dad more money, she said, it’s because your dad is the man of the house and in this culture he is the one who is supposed to take care of the family, so they give him more money for household expenses.
This conversation happened when I was a child, but I still do remember how shocking it was for me because all I thought about then was how unfair it would be for me when I grow up and decide to be the woman of my own house, no man involved. Would they give me more money? Aren’t I the breadwinner too?
Certainly, things in Qatar have changed (not the salary thing though, it’s still intact in the government sectors) but women are still thriving for better chances of equality and fairness. Most of the mothers I know are prime examples for the second shift. The second shift is the jobs that working wives do to run the household after they finish the workday. They all deserve that extra money since they contribute to the household… like a lot!
Anyways, more and more young women are becoming quite the neo-feminists. Neo- Feminism does not have a social agenda; it emphasizes personal fulfillment above all else. Young women focus on their education and jobs, not for the purpose of supporting a family or building one, but for their own personal wants and needs. It’s the concept of “Spending my money on myself.” That’s why you see a lot of girls in Education City and a lot of them with designer shoes.
Shopping is a big thing for girls here. Not for me though, I really hate shopping (I’m more of the amusement parks kind of person). Consumer culture is pretty popular here and the fancy malls we have aren’t helping. All adds for all sorts of products try to target these neoliberal women and tell them, “hey, you work hard, you deserve this” or “You want to be different and brand new, then you gotta do this.”
Like seriously, nobody is benefiting more from feminism than big corporations. Despite the fact that I’m a feminist, I’m a little bit tad suspicious about all those chick flick movies and “be the independent women” kind of messages that circulate in media. Because, is it just me, or the more feminist you are, the more shopping you gotta do and the more sexualized you otta be. No, thank you, sir. This Dove short film really got me thinking about this:
Perhaps we should be careful with those who claim to be supporting us when all they really are doing is milking our money and altering our perception of ourselves.
As I’ve had my go at Feminism in The Hunger Games a few weeks ago, I was definitely interested to voice my
opinion on masculinity in movies. This week, Cinema and Society class got me
thinking beyond the gender gap but on the “expectations” we have going in on
powerful males, and male feminism through gender socialization. Gender socialization
starts at a very early age, where people learn the norms related to sex and
gender within a social construction.
Where the
70’s was an embrace of feminism, the 80’s was definitely the decade where films attempted
to “re-masculinize” men. Both movies in comparison are Herbert Ross directed films, one of which was “Play it again, Sam!” (1972, staring Woody Allen) was centered on a the male (feminine, looking for a partner) lead, “Steel Magnolias” (1989) on the other hand, was very feminine but also questioned masculinity. For example, the movie’s opening shot
is a women screaming because of male characters shooting at birds while they are getting
ready for a “pink and blush-y” wedding.
It was
listed as one of the 10 movies that make men cry: “"Steel Magnolias"… is another one of
those movies that will just tug at your soft spot. Dolly Parton, Julia Roberts,
and Sally Field bring on the tears, whether you're a man or a woman.”
The Funeral Scene
One of the
most poignant quotes is from Sally Field’s character M’Lynn Eaterton, who
addresses the divide directly: “I find it amusing. Men are supposed to
be made out of steel or something. I just sat there. I just held Shelby's hand.
There was no noise, no tremble, just peace. Oh god. I realize as a woman how
lucky I am. I was there when that wonderful creature drifted into my life and I
was there when she drifted out. It was the most precious moment of my life.”
The idea widely accepted idea for men
was that it was only acceptable to cry during a victory. In an article entitled
“When is it Okay for a Man to Cry?”
by the Art of Manliness (I kid you not, this is what the website is called).
The list names a few:
Shawshank Redemption (Prison, Victory)
The Pride of the Yankees (Victory)
Saving Private Ryan (…)
Braveheart (Victory)
Friday Night Lights (Victory)
We Were Soldiers (I mean…)
Gladiator (Victory)
The Champ (Victory)
Glory (Need I go on?)
And
also goes on to list the movies that men should never cry during:
Steel Magnolias (feminine)
Little Women (feminine)
Jerry Maguire (male
femininity)
The Notebook (TEARS to no
end)
The funny thing is, that it seems
second nature to dismiss Steel Magnolias as a movie purely for the enjoyment of
women. In an article on the American Politician Cory Booker, Jezbel’s headline
reads: “Watching Steel Magnolias Makes Him Cry: Cory Booker is Just like Us.” To which, I conclude that the line between masculinity and feminity is thick,
it’s definitely crossed in certain movies. (Or perhaps just a PR strategy to get people
to like Cory Booker.) Whichever it is, Steel Magnolias is still an exceptional film (as is everything else Sally Field has appeared in.)
Pictures credit: TriStar pictures(Steel Magnolias) and Paramount Pictures (Play it Again, Sam!)
My title may suggest that girls have it all, success, power and of course love. However, I really just picked the title because I love Beyonce so much!
In our last Sociology class, we have discussed how families are considered as element of socialization and how gender roles can affect the stability of families and relationships. We also looked closely into the breadwinner system and discussed the elements of changes and continuity regarding the system.
Due to the rise of literacy rates amongst women and with more women entering the workforce, more women are becoming the breadwinners in their place, which has shaken up the system. Men are no longer perceived as the main provider for the household; in fact, many women began earning more than men do. Men are doing more housework than they ever had (watching a game and playing X-Box all does not count). Many couples are succumbing to the changes mainly because of the recent economic conditions. On the other hand, there is still cultural resistance and stigma towards men being the secondary earners in the household, which has discouraged many men from dating or marrying successful women.
There are two main reasons why successful women remain single, they are either too busy working and achieving their goals or they are seen as "high maintenance" by men. Men are often intimidated by women who are better than them financially and career wise. This whole "Beauty fades, but personality and brains last forever" just doesn't seem to cut it anymore. Of course, many successful men look for women are equally successful and smart in order for them to support themselves in their social and professional circles. There has been many cases where marriages have been ruined due to the wife having a more successful career, and it usually happens when the in-laws or the public interfere and comment on their situation. Most of the middle-eastern men were brought up in a house where the mom was a stay-at-home mom and the father being the breadwinner. However, many of them are pro-feminism and demand equality for women.
What happened to "Behind every successful man is a woman"?
One thing about Middle-Eastern men, they will never let you pay the bill just because they're men.
Why are women still single then?
Frankly, because some of them choose to be. What bothers in me in our society is how people contradict themselves when it's a stigma for girls to remain unmarried and for men to marry girls who are more successful (or the breadwinner) in the family. Successful, ambitious and more educated girls are then forced to stay single because they haven't found an equivalent companion.
Even though feminism is perceived as a western ideology, many westerners are highly against it simply because they're men.
Once again, Sociology has encouraged me to look at things differently. Even at movies! Since my previous reading was on family and gender, I decided to analyze my elder sister who is living by the traditional role and the Mona Lisa Smile movie that represent the notion.
The “ideal family" consists of the breadwinner husband, homemaker wife, and their children. This ideology may not represent how we are now, but it definitely has influenced economic policies, social roles, movies, expectations about family life and even our own individual choices we make today.
Sociologist Denzin once said, “Movies ‘screen’ and frame social reality, and they reflect ideological images of interaction relationship, and the community.”
I watched the movie Mona Lisa Smile with my elder sister, in addition to the sociological readings I had about the movie. Ironically enough, she related to the movie the same way the girl’s ultimate goal was to get married and fulfill the traditional role. She is now a housewife and mother, while being a pharmacists.
The movie is about a freethinking, feminist, independent liberal art professor who teaches conservative 50’s Wellesley girls to question their traditional societal roles they have been spoon-fed.
At one point of the movie, one of the staff members get mad at Giselle, one of the free-spirited students, and yells, “This is not a joke. A few years from now, your sole responsibility will be to taking care of your husband and children.” This quote becomes symbolic and becomes further evident as the theme of the movie evolves around the notion and on how the pupils see their education as a way to pass their time until they are married.
The traditional-societal norm at Wellesley provokes Katherine to encourage her students to reject the social norm by continuing their education. For instance, Joan is torn between attending law school and marriage; Katherine literally fills out her applications ford Yale, Joan’s dream school. However, Katherine gets disappointed when she finds out that Joan chose to get married and move to Philadelphia.
At one point of the movie, Betty’s mom says, “Good wife lets her husband think that everything’s his idea, even when its not.” This clearly shows the 1950’s conservative expected female role as a wife, and how the husband has the final say in everything.
One of the outstanding moments of the movie was when Betty returns to class and gets into an argument with Katherine. This part of the movie stood out the most to me, as it showed the struggle to break social norms of women in the society, while facing the elite.
Betty: Don’t disregard our traditions, just because you’re subversive. Katherine: Don’t disrespect this class just because you’re married. Betty: Don’t disrespect me just because your not Katherine: Come to class. Do your work. Or ill fail you. Betty: If you fail me, there will be consequences
“Don’t wash your dirty laundry in public,” Betty’s mom said. This emphasizes on the importance of appearance, and not what happens within the family itself. This tends to be symbolic as not all married women had a happy marriage and family, but had to put up an appearance.
Many of us enjoy watching tennis matches. We are entertained by the excitement of the game, the gracefulness and probably the elegance of the players. However, it takes sociologists to pinpoint various sociological aspects in professional tennis, and one of the most prevalent of these is gender polarization.
For instance, if you glance at the outfit of the male and female players, you will find tremendous differences. Men usually dress in loose short-sleeved t-shirts and knee-length shorts. This type of clothing identifies the masculinity of the men, which makes them look socially acceptable. On the other hand, women immensely integrate fashion into their sport. Their typical clothing would be short skirts, shorts with tank tops, or a short dress. However, women players wear these garments in attractive colors, exotic designs and glamorous jewelry on-court, which bring a lot of attention beyond their performance. Obviously, women players commit to such fashion statements because they want to remain feminine regardless of the athleticism their sport demands. Sometimes these outfits are very controversial, which was the case many times with the former world number one American tennis player, Serena Williams, who wore a leather-like catsuit in the 2002 US Open. Also, in the same event in 2004, she showed up in boots and a denim skirt.
Another aspect that shows gender polarization in professional tennis, is the game style. Men not only have more powerful consistent ground strokes, but they also like to attack a lot by moving forward to the net and finishing the point with a sensational volley. Also, the speed of men’s serve can reach to 250 kph. In contrast, if you watch the women’s game, you will see a lot of long rallies thanks to their excellent coverage of the court, but you hardly see them introducing exciting strategies as men do. They simply just hit and return the ball till one of the players makes an error or misses a shot. So men are paid more due to their capability to entertain the crowd more with their outstanding game tactics, but also in the grand slam tournaments men play best of five sets while women just play best of three. The idea of sexism fits perfectly in this scenario, as the male players receive more audience due to their high quality matches and they get paid more because they play more sets in major tournaments. As a response to this sex discrimination, many women players underwent a feminist movement to prove that they are just as good and achieve equality. Examples of these feminist acts would be when a number of top WTA players like Maria Sharapova and Caroline Wozniacki justified why they should be paid more. They said that they do a lot of endorsements, and that spike up the financial state of the businesses involved in making professional tennis possible. Besides, women tennis is becoming more aggressive and physical, so people start to sense that the women are playing and behaving more manly on the court. For instance, they run faster, hit harder and grunt louder. One of my all time favorite women’s matches, which exhibited the masculinity women players are increasingly integrating in their game was the semifinal of the 2005 Australian open championship between Serena Williams and Maria Sharapova. Here is the video of the match:
Moreover, regarding the feminist actions taken by the female players, the WTA created a global campaign with the tagline “Strong is beautiful.” This campaign featured 38 of the professional players and the advertisement that was produced showed the women wearing very revealing tennis clothing to display their athletic bodies while hitting aggressively their shots in slow motion. The ad clearly illustrated that women players are capable to deliver assertive tennis without any compromises to their femininity.
If you also analyzed how male and female players celebrate their victory on court, you can recognize obvious differences. Men usually collapse on their backs with their legs wide open or jump around very vigorously. As an example of how wild Novak Djokovic celebrated his first Wimbledon title this year, he snatched up some blades of grass and shoved them in his mouth. But for women no matter how exciting the moment can feel like, they still take less bustling actions. Crying is quite common among women who win majors, and that explains that women are more emotional than men.
Besides, the commercialization of gender ideals, which is the process of introducing products to the market by using advertising and sales campaigns that draw on socially constructed standards of masculinity and femininity, heavily influences the type of commercials male and female players do. For instance, male players usually promote technical items like cars, rackets and watches. However, women players would advertise items related to beauty like shampoos and deodorants. And even when these women are featured in commercials about cameras and rackets, they still embrace their feminine appearance mixed with the assertive attitude.
All in all, gender polarization nearly exists in every facet of our lives. It is the people’s duty to conform to their gender ideals in order to keep the socialization process functioning well. But sometimes, gender polarization can be detrimental to women’s growth and success in certain fields. That is why women feel it’s unfair to live in a “glass ceiling” society, and that motivates them to lead feminist movements. In many cases, feminist acts were successful and society gradually started to perceive that it’s “okay” to see women working in areas that are masculine in nature and receiving privileges that they never used to be awarded before. However, it would be considered socially deviant if men started to engage in more feminine-like activities. They would probably receive a lot of sanctions and will not feel as comfortable as women feel working in more manly environments. That is just how society works.
