Qatari Women Are Breaking Barriers

March 8, 2013 was the International Women’s Day. I’m dedicating this week’s blog to give recognition to Qatari women have taken the initiative to change the Qatari society by breaking barriers. It is very important to highlight the fact that many Qatari women are educated, and “According to the CIA World Factbook, the literacy rate of females in Qatar is 88.6%, one of the highest in the Arab world,” (Qatar Visitor). Therefore, these educated women play a big role in helping Qatar economically and socially grow and develop. In the past, women in Qatar were mostly doing the household work and the man used to be the breadwinner. We learned in the Cinematic Sociology book that the in the traditional breadwinner-homemaker type of family life, the husband works and earns money to support the entire nuclear family, whereas the wife does the house chores and takes care of her children. Qatari families used to function or follow that type of system, but it has drastically changed in the past few decades. Now Qatari women are competing with Qatari men in the work field. More than 70% of females have a bachelor degree in Qatar, (Qatar Today). Qatari women are already holding professional jobs in hospitals, schools, universities, companies, media, and other fields. Women’s life doesn’t depend on marriage. More women are pursing their education and thinking of building their own career path. There are a lot of Qatari women who have also started their own businesses. Women have opened their own abaya, cupcake, and clothing shops. Below are pictures of businesses that are running by Qatari women and women working in the media. Women who get married don’t just sit at home but they also choose to work. The Cinematic Sociology book describes the second shift as the jobs that working wives do to run the household after they finish the workday. We see married Qatari women who work while they still have a husband and a house to take care of. The book described Hochschild’s study where she identified three types of couples. The first types is traditional couples where both the husband and the wife work outside home but the wife is required to come home to do her duties as a mother, which involves cooking, cleaning, laundry, and so on. The husband is only expected to do the traditional male tasks such as fixing something in the house or the car. Usually, married couples in Doha would fall under this category. The man comes home from work, and he expects his food to be prepared, as his wife makes sure that this is something that is taken care of. The second type is called transitional, and it’s when the husband helps his wife with the household stuff. The third type is egalitarian and usually the husband and the wife share the house work together by diving the work with each other, but the woman is expected to do the majority of the work because she’s more organized and more likely to have things done. As they say, behind every great man there is a great woman. Women are the foundation of the house and they have to help and support their husbands in order to maintain a healthy, successful marriage. The video below shows how Arab women including Qatari women are breaking barriers in the State of Doha.

Breaking Barriers - Arab Women from Zeena Kanaan on Vimeo.

My Son, The Breadwinner

    In the class reading the breadwinner system was basically about the man being the main provider for his family. This is where the word breadwinner comes from the explanation that the person is the one who provides bread, which is an important part of the daily meals of family. Being a breadwinner doesn’t extend to the providing for the house itself. Being a breadwinner also directly connects with the idea of having the control and power in the family.

     Earlier this month, I went to a comedy show hosted by Chris Tucker. He is an African-American stand up comedian, who grew up in the black community his entire life. Chris made fun of a lot of topics. Mainly, how his dad used to treat him and his brothers. He jokingly mentioned that his dad used to be the person who provides for the family. However, after Chris became famous after Rush Hour movies almost every one in his family quit their job. This extends the meaning of being a breadwinner to different levels. Before the meaning of being a breadwinner was exclusive to the husband and wife.

   However, when the children of the family become adults, there is a chance of them becoming the breadwinner of the family, this was the case for Chris Tucker. However, during his hilarious stand up comedy he mentions his dad personality when his dad was the breadwinner. Stating that his dad used to spank him and his brothers with a belt every time they did something wrong, this emphasizes on the power of being a breadwinner. The connection of being a breadwinner and power seem directly proportional.

     In general the unemployed men who are married to an employed wife the wife are less likely to to do anything at home. This can be explained that if the wife is the person who provides for the family, she is the person of power in this relationship since she’s the one with the fat wallet. So, men feel intimidated by that. They feel that their masculinity is threatened, so, they don’t do any housework even though they have nothing else to do!

In this video Chris makes fun of his uncle and how his uncle goes to him every time he needed money.

Women are being judged!

In our last sociology class we learned about the family and how the gender roles might affect the relationship of the family members. But what was interesting to know is that each member of the family does his/her role depending on what’s the society expects from them. However, since the role of women outside the house has changed, this has led to the secondary shift. In the book Cinematic Sociology written by Jean-Anne Sutherland, Kathryn Feltey they described the second shift to be a job for all working women where they get to do household after they are done with their working day.    

Breadwinner system dose not apply to families of 21^st century

The breadwinner system is a system where men are the only providers of money for the family. But this system no longer describes families of the 21^st century. Women today might earn more than men. And the main reason why women work today its because of the economic conditions. Parents with one income simply can’t support their family, thus women work to provide the second income for the family.

It is the expectations of the society

In the past few years we can see a significant changes in the role of women out side the house, but what about the roles of men inside the house! Surprisingly, though women are helping in earning money role of men inside the house did not change very much. Mostly because of society expectations, it’s perceived as women’s roles to take care of the house, thus men don’t help inside the house.

Women in Gulf

Though the role of women have changed in the gulf in the past few years, yet society especially older generations will perceive working woman care less about her family. In the gulf, people are still not convinced that woman can be a workingwoman and a mother! But since work gives a woman a feeling of security and she will be earning money to support her family, this makes her care more about her family. So women are being judged because it is expected from them to take care of the family not the men.   

Who Run The World (Girls)

My title may suggest that girls have it all, success, power and of course love. However, I really just picked the title because I love Beyonce so much!




In our last Sociology class, we have discussed how families are considered as element of socialization and how gender roles can affect the stability of families and relationships. We also looked closely into the breadwinner system and discussed the elements of changes and continuity regarding the system.

Due to the rise of literacy rates amongst women and with more women entering the workforce, more women are becoming the breadwinners in their place, which has shaken up the system. Men are no longer perceived as the main provider for the household; in fact, many women began earning more than men do. Men are doing more housework than they ever had (watching a game and playing X-Box all does not count). Many couples are succumbing to the changes mainly because of the recent economic conditions. On the other hand, there is still cultural resistance and stigma towards men being the secondary earners in the household, which has discouraged many men from dating or marrying successful women.

There are two main reasons why successful women remain single, they are either too busy working and achieving their goals or they are seen as "high maintenance" by men. Men are often intimidated by women who are better than them financially and career wise. This whole "Beauty fades, but personality and brains last forever" just doesn't seem to cut it anymore. Of course, many successful men look for women are equally successful and smart in order for them to support themselves in their social and professional circles. There has been many cases where marriages have been ruined due to the wife having a more successful career, and it usually happens when the in-laws or the public interfere and comment on their situation. Most of the middle-eastern men were brought up in a house where the mom was a stay-at-home mom and the father being the breadwinner. However, many of them are pro-feminism and demand equality for women. 

What happened to "Behind every successful man is a woman"?

One thing about Middle-Eastern men, they will never let you pay the bill just because they're men.

Why are women still single then? Frankly, because some of them choose to be. What bothers in me in our society is how people contradict themselves when it's a stigma for girls to remain unmarried and for men to marry girls who are more successful (or the breadwinner) in the family. Successful, ambitious and more educated girls are then forced to stay single because they haven't found an equivalent companion.
Even though feminism is perceived as a western ideology, many westerners are highly against it simply because they're men.

Shame!

BIGGER SHAME!!

The eternal man vs woman problem

So we've seen men flex their muscles and rescue their family from danger,work tirelessly to put food on the table for them and epitomize the responsible, reliable person; both in reel and real life. This self-sufficient characteristic that men have always been associated with represents what sociologists call the 'breadwinner system'. The breadwinner system emphasizes the belief that all societies are patriarchal and that men are often discharged with the responsibility of earning in their household. What about their counterparts then? The role of women in families and in societies at large has always been one to ponder. While traditionally  expected to stay at home and carry out all their filial obligations perfectly, there are enough examples of women from the past and present to show that this is no longer the case. They have broken the stereotype that women are mainly noticed for their appearance and need help from men to take care of themselves and their family.

One such example is that of Indira Gandhi, the Prime Minister of India for almost two decades. Indira Gandhi's rise to the apex of the political scene in India was astonishing as it came at a time when the cultural beliefs of the nation were very much in the nascent, conservative state. Despite being labelled "mute doll" by those who opposed her ascension to the position of Prime Minister and seeing her party form two groups over her progress, she became one of India's most influential leaders of all time. She was responsible for drafting changes in the way the Indian economy would work, encouraging movements such as the Green revolution to develop the conditions of the agriculture sector and in expanding India's bilateral relationships with countries such as the United States, Iran and other Asian countries. What made her achievements even more significant as far as defining the new role of women is that she was also responsible for raising her children and taking care of everything that a woman and a mother was expected to.

Women have not only made contributions in the field of politics, even the corporate world has seen tremendous development from their side. The chairman of Pepsi Co. Indira Nooyi is today one of the most influential women in the world. As the head of one of the world's largest organizations one would expect her to be fully devoted to her business and not have time for anything else. However, as she was quoted saying in an interview, in spite of her commitments to her work whenever she returned home she was forced by her mother to look after her husband and her children in addition to helping out with the household chores. Quite a busy life by any standard!In fact, Indra Nooyi is believed to not sleep for more than four hours a day,proving that women can be equally workaholic and dedicated as men.

These are just two of the many cases that have proved that the age old "man works, woman stays at home" philosophy that was prevalent in almost all societies is a thing of the past in the modern world. Women have demonstrated that they can be competitive and capable of contributing to a family's income; all of this in addition to taking care of their families. Isn't it time to rethink who actually takes on several roles effectively then?

Here is a video of a debate that discusses the differences in the roles of men and women in the corporate sector:

Arabs and Working Women

Women were and will always be the other half of the society that we all live in. different societies have different ways of treating women, and most of the time it is not equal. In the Middle East it is a normal thing to see men working and women staying home with the kids. The notion of mothers should stay home and raise their kids to be the “best” was stated by many families. While having a normal conversation with a friend of mine, I pulled out a question “Do you think women should go out and work or stay home and raise the kids?” That was her response:

Although this answer makes since to many of us, women hate to stay at home. They feel that their life is surrounded by kids, cleaning, washing and all the boring home duties. Whereas the man goes out, work, travel and have a business lunch. Women want to take a break from the home duties and go out to explore what this world has to offer for them. If the women is out working who is going to take care of the kids? The maid? Why would someone leave her/his kid with someone who is only supposed to do is taking care of the house? Well the answer would be that women want to explore the life outside the house, and that is why some parents who both work keep their kids in a nursery school if the kids were young.

In sociology, the breadwinner system means that the man goes out to work and the wife stays home with the kids. This been the system for Arabs for a long time, and it will, from my perspective, continue for the next few decades. The man will always be the man of the house. The breadwinner system varies from a social class to another. For example, women from the high middle class are not supposed to work because they have enough money that the man gets. On the other hand, women from the working class or the low middle class might not have enough money to support the family. Therefore, the women also work to support their husbands to provide the best support for their kids.

As an Arab, I think women should be given the chance to go outside and work, but work should not conflict with their other duties to their husbands and kids.

“No. This is the WOMAN of the house!”

People are social creatures. It means we depend on others to tell us what to do, what is right and what is wrong. As much as we deny it, we like rules. We create them to follow them and let others follow them so we can have a sense of security and stability. Rules can be made in the form of law or just “common sense.” What is socially acceptable or what society thinks is normal plays an important role in our lives as it shapes our behavior and attitude towards things.

Media plays a big role in conveying these ideals and making us believe that they are the norm. These things can range from stereotypes about certain races, messed up standards of beauty and representations of family dynamics.

Here in the Middle East, everything is about family. We live with our families and only leave when we create a new family of our own (and sometimes we don’t leave then). We go on vacations with family, eat with family, work in family businesses, achieve things to make our family proud and most importantly, the end goal of every single one of us (the bachelors) is to have a family someday. We are slaves to our families to put it simply. It is not really as scary as it sounds, but it would be really weird if we all have the same end goal.

I guess the reason why things go down this way is because of the culture and dominant religion. People must not have relationships outside of marriage (not that this stopped anybody). Once people get married, they should start thinking about their legacy and stuff, so yeah, kids are a yes yes if you can have them. And then of course, there is nothing really else for you to do than work to please your family for the rest of your life.

However, we all know that things in real life aren’t that boring. We all really have different lifestyles and a lot of us youngsters are not even thinking about having a family. Yes, we are one selfish generation. But the truth is, we just tasted freedom now. With the rising levels of education, people, especially women, are becoming more and more independent. Right now, all we’re thinking about is how we want to finish our education, get a good job and spend money on spoiling ourselves. Nobody said anything about finding a hubby or raising babies.

The point is, there is a possibility that the breadwinner system is going to change. The breadwinner system is a tradition where the husband works and earns income to support the entire nuclear family. Women are getting good education now. There are greater chances for better jobs and more income. They will be soon providing for the family and they will have more power. Of course, I’m talking right now like I’m from the 50s and this does not already happen. But we all know it does and it is becoming the norm. People used to get married at the age of 13 a while ago. Can you believe that?! Now, there are a lot of people in their 30s who are enjoying the single life. I was interested in what other people my age think about the breadwinner system and if they believe it will always be that way. So I asked them:

I was also interested in knowing what they think about the media’s representations of family in this region. You see, once you turn on the TV and watch an Arabic soap opera all you see is love affairs, family, kids, families, divorce, love affairs… you get the point. Arab people love drama but they always have the same old story. Daddy and mommy have kids. One of the kids wants to get married to this person that daddy and mommy don’t approve of because they already hooked them up in an arranged marriage. Kid elopes with lover. Daddy kills kid. Daddy also secretly loves his secretary or something. Parents get a divorce. Kid’s lover dies in some freak accident. Seriously, it’s like they use this template for every single show!

Anyways, what I cannot find is representations of another type of family. A family where mommy is dealing with midlife crisis and working her way through the second shift. The second shift are the jobs that working wives do to run the household after they finish the workday. Why can’t they be single mothers raising their children? That’s drama right there. Why can’t it be that the father doesn't have a job and the mother has to raise him too since he won’t do anything around the house? But what if he does help around the house? What if he likes to cook and clean? What if there is no mother? What if they were two dads instead? Too many questions and only one answer: Because it is weird, it is wrong and it is not normal.

I personally think that things will change around here. Maybe not soon, but, eventually. Student films are already being made representing different kinds of families and tackling these sensitive topics. So perhaps one day we can turn on the TV and watch Youssef take care of the twins while his wife, Sara, cures her patients.

Family Roles in Doha

 During my last Cinema & Society class, we had a conversation on family and family roles, and we had the chance to express our thoughts and opinions. For this blog, I will discuss that matter and go into detail as to how it applies to our culture in Doha and the Arabian Gulf in general.

Traditionally and since we can ever remember, men’s job was to provide financial support for the family, hence their name “breadwinners”. Women, on the other hand, were responsible for taking care of the house, the kids, and ensuring it all went well. This is how women earned the name “homemakers”. All this goes back to our existing views and ideas about gender and who we believe is supposed to do what. 

          
The way all this applies to Doha is that during the last century and for the most part, men and women both assumed their traditional family roles, with men being the “breadwinners” and women being the “homemakers”. However, contrary to popular belief, men and women have mostly been breadwinners and homemakers simply because we decided to arrange things in such a way, not because it is the right and only way to go.

 Nowadays in Doha and in the Gulf, the number of working women has increased. Sometimes, this is the case because the “bread” earned by the father isn’t enough to cover for all the expenses and financial needs of the family. At other times, this is because of another relatively recent phenomenon, which is that nowadays more and more women are taking more interest in completing an undergraduate study after completing high school. By going to work and earning their own money, they feel more powerful and worth more than if they just stayed at home and took care of the kids. Although I am a personal believer in that some things women do at home, such as taking care of their children, are of great importance, the reason they and most of society do not see it this way is because, as David Grazian said in his book Mix It Up, “non-economic activity is devalued in today’s modern capitalist society”. Perhaps another reason that would cause a woman to go to work in this part of the world is if her children have all grown up, and so she basically has nothing to do at home and decides to go work to spend her time doing something useful.   

Before ending this blog, I decided to conclude with a few useful tips for those of you who are already married or do plan to get married someday. First, Grazian mentions a study that observed that women’s stress levels go down when their husbands help them with the housework. Grazian also stated that another study concluded that women who work are happier than those who are homemakers, which might make you re-think letting your wife go to work. That’s all for today. 

 

Qatari Women: Family life vs. Work

Marriage in Qatar is a serious matter that is intertwined with honor. Women’s place is upheld in the Qatari society by protecting the women’s reputation and thus, protecting the family name.  The common ideology that was circled around in Qatar, until very recently, was that a woman must marry in order to fulfill her role in the society, and her role in leading a normal life.

Women’s role becomes institutionalized with in the nuclear family. A Qatari woman who wants to become successful has to prove herself successful in a family life before she is considered to be successful at work.

Women in Qatar have to take on the role of establishing a family and taking care of it. Any shortness in fulfilling that role means that something is wrong with the woman. Qatari women can never be breadwinners in the society, as the man has to provide for everything. Breadwinner is a term that describes the tradition of the man figure providing for his family. If the woman works then that’s her prerogative and she may choose to deal with her income however she’d like. She can spend it on her children or herself, but the children have to be living a well-provided life from the father’s income.  

Women take on the role of a working individual in order tofill their time. That in itself is seen as an accomplishment as instead of sitting home alone, women choose to fill their time by doing work. However, first and for most the work they do can be interrupted by any of a working mother’s children’s demands. If the child calls his mother to pick him up from school early, the mother has to dismiss her work and pick up her child. Therefor, Qatari women are on a constant working shift, from their real work hours to the second shift they have at home running the household.

The video I’m sharing for this blog is a statement about a happy Qatari woman. Analyzing it shows that there’s no husband in the picture, only kids. However, including kids indicates the presence of a husband at some point. The short film couldn’t have been done with out showing the complete life of the woman. The woman’s life is complete by having a perfect house life, indicated by the happiness of her children, and a perfect workspace.

"We've Got The Power"

In our last Sociology class, we discussed women and gender. Considering how there is an overwhelming majority of females in our class, the topics on femininity, neo-feminist cinema and power were highly intriguing.

I have witnessed and experienced a significant amount of sexism, not only from males but females too. Mothers in particular. They seem to conform to their roles as being housewives and homemakers; cooking and cleaning are an integral part of a married woman’s daily routine. Men, however, conform to their roles as being the breadwinner of the household. If men are placed in a situation where they can’t be the providers of the family they will submit to playing no part whatsoever in helping around the house. This is because they feel emasculated and since socialization portrays working around the house as a female’s responsibility, men would rather be useless than serve a purpose.



I have first-hand experience, in my own household, of my brother telling me to make him meals because I’m a female. I have also experienced something similar from my mother. She advised me to learn how to cook earlier on, in order for me to provide meals for my future husband. Parents, and the family, are the most prominent agents of socialization in any individual’s life. This explains how people can justify that they’re right for whatever reason – may it be on buying a house or car, or making the right choice on a certain issue - because their parents have cautioned them on what is right and what is wrong.


This week I attended the student-faculty dodge ball game. Seeing as the majority of students are female, some male students expressed bitterness because they saw this as disadvantageous to the students’ team. “The only reason we’re losing is because we have so many girls on our team,” said one male.


Men seem to be under the impression that women can’t exert physical power. This is mainly due to socialization – movies such as Rambo and the Expendables convey masculinity through strength and violence. But even when women play roles that show ‘power over’ others, which means getting others to do something even when they don’t want to, it isn’t interpreted in a serious manner. This is mainly because men find women playing aggressive roles attractive, and almost all of these roles played by women are sexualized.



Although the faculty won the dodge-ball game, there were quite a number of females on their team as well. The males on the student team purposely targeted the females on the faculty team, assuming that they would be the “weak” point. But the females played a large role in contributing the large number of points the faculty team won by, which shows that it is merely a social construction that “women are physically weaker than men.”

Everybody works but father

“What does your dad do?”

“My dad? Uh, he’s a lecturer,” I looked down at my feet, which were making patterns in the playground’s sandy grit.



“Oh, what subject does he teach?”

“Language,” I muttered, gritting my teeth. I knew what was coming next.

“Interesting. Where?”

“Well,” I was thinking fast about how I could change the topic, “He doesn’t teach anywhere as of now…”

For as long as I can remember, that was the one reply I had for that seemingly harmless “where does your dad work” question. I was beginning to give up hope that my answer would ever change.

“Uh, no, he doesn’t work right now.”

It did come up more often back then in high school, when I was in the process of interacting and developing a social identity.

And it wasn’t a pleasant question.

“Oh, he’s a lecturer. Hey, I love your shoes! Where did you get those from?”

Dad had a history of being constantly in and out of jobs. Six months here, two months there, yearlong gaps in between. Looking back now, I think I can pin the inconsistency on spikes in he-cession.



Nonetheless, it was to transform my societal outlook forever.

That was the time that saw my dear mother become "Mrs. Dad" when circumstances made her take over as the family breadwinner. She worked round the clock—7:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. at her workplace, then longer hours back home.

My dad?

That is the funniest part.



His shift would begin everyday at around the same time, lasting the same number of hours.

Only, he would make breakfast, sweep and mop, tidy rooms and prepare lunch. I think he could have related very well to the following review from the 1983 comedy drama film, Mr. Mom:

“Jack soon finds himself overwhelmed with laundry, cooking, cleaning and other household chores. He is frustrated with the never ending menial tasks. His only social contracts around the house are his children and though he tries to engage them in work, he is often left feeling frustrated and alone. Jack shouts at his wife, ‘My brain is like oatmeal. I yelled at Kenny today for coloring outside the lines! Megan and I are watching the same TV shows and I’m liking them! I’m loosing it.’”

Only, I must say, life wasn’t all that rough. Mom and dad adapted to the bizarre responsibility transverse. I did too.

Before long, I had spent 12 years living in this role reversal. Although the family responsibilities clearly appeared uncomfortably topsy turvy to me…..well, I was okay. It was just the way my family worked—dad cooked and cleaned, mom brought in the money. I was habituated.

Yet when that question was asked, I would always be “thinking fast about how I could change the topic.” One more time, I used to brood, and I’m going to snap. “No, my dad doesn’t work for god sakes!! Only mom does. But you what? That is okay with me! Because they have managed to make it work so well…”

Come to think of it, although it was always okay with me, I knew, even as a fifth grader, that it would never be so with society.

Society.



That rigid structure of standards and values everyone wishes to be a well- integrated part of.

If you function out of norms, you are the odd one out.

For all those years before my father finally got a steady job, my family and me-- despite being financially well off-- were the odd-ones-out.

That is how society is fundamentally structured. The male and female spheres of responsibilities have been laid out quite distinctly, almost as a stringent law of nature that has to be respected and abided by. The man pays the bills; the woman takes care of the children. She can have a career, which is becoming increasingly common these days, but home and hearth still remain the top priority.


Although this concept is increasingly changing in today’s fast-paced, modernizing society, an absolute gendered division of labor in the private realm is still a difficult idea to digest.

“I just think that’s absurd,” said sociology professor Geoff Harkness, and I couldn’t agree more. What’s wrong so long as a family manages to function?

But modern society is yet to catch up with the notion. I think we were a family at the wrong place at the wrong time. Hopefully, a few years from now, society will be much more receptive to the idea.



Oh and dad, if you are reading this, I just want you to know that you make the best pea and potato soup ever.