“No. This is the WOMAN of the house!”

People are social creatures. It means we depend on others to tell us what to do, what is right and what is wrong. As much as we deny it, we like rules. We create them to follow them and let others follow them so we can have a sense of security and stability. Rules can be made in the form of law or just “common sense.” What is socially acceptable or what society thinks is normal plays an important role in our lives as it shapes our behavior and attitude towards things.

Media plays a big role in conveying these ideals and making us believe that they are the norm. These things can range from stereotypes about certain races, messed up standards of beauty and representations of family dynamics.

Here in the Middle East, everything is about family. We live with our families and only leave when we create a new family of our own (and sometimes we don’t leave then). We go on vacations with family, eat with family, work in family businesses, achieve things to make our family proud and most importantly, the end goal of every single one of us (the bachelors) is to have a family someday. We are slaves to our families to put it simply. It is not really as scary as it sounds, but it would be really weird if we all have the same end goal.

I guess the reason why things go down this way is because of the culture and dominant religion. People must not have relationships outside of marriage (not that this stopped anybody). Once people get married, they should start thinking about their legacy and stuff, so yeah, kids are a yes yes if you can have them. And then of course, there is nothing really else for you to do than work to please your family for the rest of your life.

However, we all know that things in real life aren’t that boring. We all really have different lifestyles and a lot of us youngsters are not even thinking about having a family. Yes, we are one selfish generation. But the truth is, we just tasted freedom now. With the rising levels of education, people, especially women, are becoming more and more independent. Right now, all we’re thinking about is how we want to finish our education, get a good job and spend money on spoiling ourselves. Nobody said anything about finding a hubby or raising babies.

The point is, there is a possibility that the breadwinner system is going to change. The breadwinner system is a tradition where the husband works and earns income to support the entire nuclear family. Women are getting good education now. There are greater chances for better jobs and more income. They will be soon providing for the family and they will have more power. Of course, I’m talking right now like I’m from the 50s and this does not already happen. But we all know it does and it is becoming the norm. People used to get married at the age of 13 a while ago. Can you believe that?! Now, there are a lot of people in their 30s who are enjoying the single life. I was interested in what other people my age think about the breadwinner system and if they believe it will always be that way. So I asked them:

I was also interested in knowing what they think about the media’s representations of family in this region. You see, once you turn on the TV and watch an Arabic soap opera all you see is love affairs, family, kids, families, divorce, love affairs… you get the point. Arab people love drama but they always have the same old story. Daddy and mommy have kids. One of the kids wants to get married to this person that daddy and mommy don’t approve of because they already hooked them up in an arranged marriage. Kid elopes with lover. Daddy kills kid. Daddy also secretly loves his secretary or something. Parents get a divorce. Kid’s lover dies in some freak accident. Seriously, it’s like they use this template for every single show!

Anyways, what I cannot find is representations of another type of family. A family where mommy is dealing with midlife crisis and working her way through the second shift. The second shift are the jobs that working wives do to run the household after they finish the workday. Why can’t they be single mothers raising their children? That’s drama right there. Why can’t it be that the father doesn't have a job and the mother has to raise him too since he won’t do anything around the house? But what if he does help around the house? What if he likes to cook and clean? What if there is no mother? What if they were two dads instead? Too many questions and only one answer: Because it is weird, it is wrong and it is not normal.

I personally think that things will change around here. Maybe not soon, but, eventually. Student films are already being made representing different kinds of families and tackling these sensitive topics. So perhaps one day we can turn on the TV and watch Youssef take care of the twins while his wife, Sara, cures her patients.