Monday, December 5, 2011
Marriages in our World
Arranged marriages (family choose the bride)
- Family choice from along time, when bride and groom where children. They might be related in a way or two families are friends.
- Or they choose the bride whenever the groom wants to get married she can be a cousin relative or anybody.
- Or the family chooses depending on specific things the groom wants in the bride. Ex (physical appearance, or social role, education..etc.)
Certain Choices can be affected sometimes by the family trying to:
- Maintain their social class with choosing the bride from the same class or higher.
- Keep the family name.
- Keep the blood in the same family (tribe point of view)
- Keep certain relationships.
Groom choice but arranged by family:
- Groom knows her (from work, seen her, can be a relative of his choice.. etc.)
He can even just have seen her for once and even never talked to her.
The grooms family proposes and after the acceptance they get engaged and then married.
The family for lots of different reasons can maybe sometimes refuse the groom’s choice. So that can cause a huge conflict with his family.
Self chosen and arranged by the groom:
Can be in reaction to social pressure and society and social constrains on his choice. Sometimes a one wants to get married to girl with different ethnicity, nationality, or religion..etc. So he finds a big rejection from his family and it causes conflicts with his society as well. Social pressure and constrains limits the boundaries of a grooms choices either by tribe or other differences.
Marriage in Islam
Islam on the other hand considers it Haram to force a couple to marry each other. It advises people to get married to people from outside the extended family to avoid negative genetics and other negative affects.
Abu Hurairah related that the Prophet said: “Men choose women for four reasons: for their money, for their rank, for their beauty and for their religion, but marry one who is religious and you will succeed” (Bukhari, Muslim).
This of course, applies to women as well.