My big fat Arab wedding

Family and marriage are two aspects that are very important in most cultures. In most societies marriage is defined as being a group’s approved mating arrangements marked by a ritual, such as a wedding ceremony, that indicates the couple’s new status to the public. Many people are familiar with the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It revolves around two people overcoming their cultural, racial and social class differences and getting married. The family portrayed as the Greek family of the bride, in the movie, reminds me of Arab families quite a lot. The large, loud and opinionated extended family that somehow always comes as a package.

Most of the time people tend to get married to others who are similar to them in age, education, social class, race, and religion. When someone decided to break that norm and get married to someone with different customs, both partners will receive some form of cultural shock when they meet both the nuclear and the extended family. Exogamy is often not encouraged in Muslim families, as they believe their sons/daughters should marry within the social group in which they belong to, and continue to pass on the traditions and customs of Arab cultures.


This summer my cousin got married to an English guy, who she met while she was studying in London. A small number of the groom’s family and friends flew out to Amman to attend their wedding. The wedding incorporated traditions from both sides of the bride and groom’s traditions.

At the beginning of the ceremony there was the Arab norm of the bride and groom’s nuclear families standing at the entrance to greet their guests. When the bride and groom later arrived they came down an aisle separately and were accompanied with their best man and made of honor, and bridesmaids. My younger cousins even had the roles of being flower girls and the bride’s niece was the ring bearer. After the newlyweds had their first dance together, the Arabic traditions began to kick in. There was the traditional palestinian zaffeh, where men dressed in traditional clothes play instruments and dance Dabke, and later on there was a belly dancer in the center of the stage.

I talked to the groom’s dad and asked him what he thought of the whole ceremony, he was really surprised with the large number of family members and how close everyone was to one another. Having a belly dancer and a Dabkeh dance at a wedding was also an experience that was quite foreign.