Men Make Fire.

I went to the beach this weekend with a group of friends to celebrate one of our friends’ birthday. I found that the perfect opportunity to analyze the men and woman’s behaviors in such an environment. The men were particularly interesting to observe. Arab men find going to the beach, a chance to practice their “machismo”, like it was an activity.



The western world is a more free world than the Arab world. I don’t like to generalize but that’s my personal opinion. In the west I guess it has become okay to embrace the different types of men’s behaviors. Like Sutherland discusses in her book, there are many different ways a man can be a man. There’s the heartless tough man figure, referred to in his book as the terminator, after Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie terminator. And there’s the emotional sensitive understanding man figure, referred to in his book as the kindergarten commando. Of course those two are the extremes, there are gray areas in between where other people lie.



In the Arab world, the kindergarten commando is not an accepted way of life, and if a man were anything but a “terminator” they would start to question his sexual orientation. This was reflected in my friends’ behaviors on the beach. I noted “macho” behaviors, or what they considered as expression of their masculinity, like logging heavy rocks and wood around to make a bonfire, cooking the meat (meat is a very manly type of food for Arabs, so cooking it on the beach with the fire they made represents their masculinity), and finally, ordering the girls around to clean, set the place where we’re going to eat and organize the seating area. When the girls offered to help with the fire making or meat cooking however, the men replied with “of course not! What kind of man do you think I am”?



I found it extremely interesting to take theories based on the behaviors in west and apply them to the Middle East. It has proven that what people consider appropriate or acceptable differs drastically between different parts of the world.

Where are the girls?

Popular representations of gender roles in movies affect the way in which we think and behave. Although we tend to assume that the idea of a patriarchal society doesn’t apply anymore to several countries in the Middle East these days, it could be argued that it still does exist. One simple form of examining gender roles in most Middle Eastern countries is through observing the structure of the restaurants. According to Karla A. Erickson in the book Cinematic Sociology, “The restaurant becomes a site where workers and consumes navigate the boundaries between individuals working and living in a service society.” So, I decided to go to a restaurant in Doha called Afghani Brothers and clearly from the name, it’s not a restaurant you would find women in. I went to the restaurant with my friend who was a girl as well and the welcoming gesture was stares from everyone who was in the restaurant. All the workers in the restaurant were males as well. The waiter immediately told us to sit in the second floor and didn’t explain why or ask if we mind. 

The fact that my friend and I were the only girls in the restaurant made it extremely uncomfortable for us because although there was not indication that women are prohibited from entering, it was just unacceptable for women for eat there. Being in this restaurant made me wonder, why is it unacceptable for women to walk in? Could it be because the restaurant is not a highbrow restaurant? Or could it be because there isn’t any female waitresses or workers there?

On the contrary, restaurants that are more westernised have females either working there or as customers. One example is Jones the Grocer, although there was a number of male workers there, the majority of the workers in the restaurant were females and so were the customers. Although women do work in restaurants, those restaurants often tend to be westernized to some extent.

From the restaurant Mamic in Katara. Although there are females who work in restaurants here in Doha, those restaurants tend to be Westernised to some extent.

Through being in those two restaurants, it could be argued that the idea of the patriarchal society or the breadwinner system is not applied when it comes to a western environment. On the other hand, in restaurants such as Afghani Brothers or Turkey Central, there are no women working there and their main customers are males. Although there is no set rule that forbids women from going into these restaurants, the social norm works as a motivation to stop women from being customers in such restaurants. 

TV Series - Shaping the evolution of behaviors?

Recently I was re-watching a TV show I used to love a few years back. 8 simple rules is an American comedy that went on from 2002 - 2005. While watching this show I noticed the family’s situation, and the first thing I could think of was the breadwinner system, and how this show defied it. The breadwinner system basically states that since the dawn of time, the man has always been that one that earns money to feed the family, while the woman stays at home and takes care of the kids and the housework.





For those of you who don’t know this show, it’s about a family of five, the parents, two girls, and a boy. The parents are trying to control their two teenage girls, while juggling work at the same time. But, opposite to the belief of the breadwinner system, this TV show does it differently. The mother is a workingwoman that sometimes has morning and night shifts in the same day. The father has a job too; but he works from home as a sports writer for a newspaper, and he’s the one who’s responsible for taking care of the kids, and sometimes cooking and cleaning. However, when the mother comes back from work, she is still expected to make dinner and clean.





A decade ago TV series like this one were viewed mostly in the west. When people watch TV shows that challenge and change social norms, eventually over time based on the cultivation theory, these new ways of living portrayed on television, become the social norm. This is one of the many reasons for this change.

Similarly, when we started watching these shows in the Middle East, the same thing began to happen. We started challenging these social norms, changing them, and calling it “modernization”. Due to the fact that not a lot of people in the Middle East speak English, only the ones that do have received this ideology from TV series. That is the reason why this new way of life hasn’t spread as much as it has in the west. However, I do believe that in the near future this change will spread drastically in the Middle East just like it has in the west.

Dramaturgy: Abaya and Shayla vs. Public and Private Locale

The society we live in can be portrayed as a play. We are all the actors.

Erving Goffman first established this dramaturgical theory. Dramaturgical theory is basically a model in which our social interaction is viewed as if we were in a theatre, the people would be the actors, and our roles in society would be the performances. But that is not it. The more crucial part is the way we carry ourselves in social situations to reach our goals by using impression management.

The theory of Dramaturgy can be applied to nearly every interactive scene in our life in Qatar. A great example could be how Qatari girls act when they have their abaya and shayla on in public spaces and when they take it off in more private locale. 

In order to carry this experiment out, I decided to go for a walk around the cafeteria at Carnegie Mellon University in Qatar and the more private spaces in the university. From Goffman’s perspective, he uses the terminologies of ‘backstage’ and ‘front stage’ to describe this behaviour. By front stage, his stating the visible behaviour we have, where we take care of how we act and conserve our persona. Backstage behaviour would be when we get to do things that would be inappropriate by the public and the societal norms of the particular setting. I noticed how the girls in the cafeteria were more preserved around men and strangers, whereas, if they were in the private conference rooms in the library, they would have taken off their shayla and acted more inappropriate. For example, the girls at the cafeteria who were wearing their abaya and shayla spoke more softly and delicately, whereas the girls in the more private locale were louder and free.

Lastly and ironically enough, culture is created and consumed through our social interactions. And in this case, our interactions are with our friends, family members and colleagues.

Don’t Wash Your Dirty Laundry In Public

Once again, Sociology has encouraged me to look at things differently. Even at movies! Since my previous reading was on family and gender, I decided to analyze my elder sister who is living by the traditional role and the Mona Lisa Smile movie that represent the notion.



The “ideal family" consists of the breadwinner husband, homemaker wife, and their children. This ideology may not represent how we are now, but it definitely has influenced economic policies, social roles, movies, expectations about family life and even our own individual choices we make today.

Sociologist Denzin once said, “Movies ‘screen’ and frame social reality, and they reflect ideological images of interaction relationship, and the community.”



I watched the movie Mona Lisa Smile with my elder sister, in addition to the sociological readings I had about the movie. Ironically enough, she related to the movie the same way the girl’s ultimate goal was to get married and fulfill the traditional role. She is now a housewife and mother, while being a pharmacists.

The movie is about a freethinking, feminist, independent liberal art professor who teaches conservative 50’s Wellesley girls to question their traditional societal roles they have been spoon-fed.



At one point of the movie, one of the staff members get mad at Giselle, one of the free-spirited students, and yells, “This is not a joke. A few years from now, your sole responsibility will be to taking care of your husband and children.” This quote becomes symbolic and becomes further evident as the theme of the movie evolves around the notion and on how the pupils see their education as a way to pass their time until they are married.

The traditional-societal norm at Wellesley provokes Katherine to encourage her students to reject the social norm by continuing their education. For instance, Joan is torn between attending law school and marriage; Katherine literally fills out her applications ford Yale, Joan’s dream school. However, Katherine gets disappointed when she finds out that Joan chose to get married and move to Philadelphia.

At one point of the movie, Betty’s mom says, “Good wife lets her husband think that everything’s his idea, even when its not.” This clearly shows the 1950’s conservative expected female role as a wife, and how the husband has the final say in everything.



One of the outstanding moments of the movie was when Betty returns to class and gets into an argument with Katherine. This part of the movie stood out the most to me, as it showed the struggle to break social norms of women in the society, while facing the elite.

Betty: Don’t disregard our traditions, just because you’re subversive.
Katherine: Don’t disrespect this class just because you’re married.
Betty: Don’t disrespect me just because your not
Katherine: Come to class. Do your work. Or ill fail you.
Betty: If you fail me, there will be consequences

“Don’t wash your dirty laundry in public,” Betty’s mom said. This emphasizes on the importance of appearance, and not what happens within the family itself. This tends to be symbolic as not all married women had a happy marriage and family, but had to put up an appearance.

The Full Beauty Salon Experience

In contrast to almost everyone else I know, my mother doesn’t enjoy going to a beauty salon. When I asked her why, she replied saying that it was always an awkward experience for her where she was always stared at by all the other employees in the hair salon and felt like the hairstylists would ask so many questions that she had no choice but to eventually answer and tell them about her personal life.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized a beauty salon was the perfect setting for a sociological experiment. I asked my mother to book a hair appointment for me and also asked her if I could accompany her to her next appointment at the LaDuree Salon at La Cigale Hotel.

While my mother was getting her hair cut, I observed my surroundings and tried to figure out what the social norms of a beauty salon were.  There’s a conventional procedure that most beauty salons follow if you’re getting a haircut: first, the receptionist greets you. After she/he confirms your appointment, you’re asked to sit down and wait your turn. This is really the only time you’ll have to yourself, so you’ll pick up a magazine and flip through pages. In Qatar, they usually ask you if you’d like to order anything – usually a drink. After a few minutes, you’re asked if you want to wash your hair. After your hair is washed, you’re seated for the cut.

I found the hair stylists themselves to be the most interesting aspect of the salon. I realized that they tend to be overly friendly, they listen to what you have to say, and not only do they probe you with personal questions about their lives, but they share a lot of personal information about their own lives. (I can guarantee what any woman who has ever gotten a manicure or a pedicure at a salon has been asked at least once whether or not she has a boyfriend).

 As it is portrayed in several different films, such as Beauty Shop, a hair salon is usually a place where people aren’t afraid to speak their minds. This explains why the hair stylists themselves are so intrusive with their questions – this is what’s normal for them. Even looking at the layout of the salon, I noticed that the waiting area and chairs are usually placed in front of where the haircuts are taking place. This allows multi-way conversations to take place, as other people are able to overhear conversations.

During an interaction between the salon owner and the hair stylist, I found myself relating the “beauty salon industry” to the entertainment industry, in which I found the hair stylists very similar to music artists, actors, or even filmmakers and the owners to the big corporations that own everything. The relationship between the owner and the stylist reminded me very much of the company conglomerates and music artists. The owners only seem to care about themselves and the money they make, as do production companies.   

When it came time for my own hair appointment, I decided I would defy the social norms of the salons and see what sanctions I would receive in return. After my mother greeted the receptionist, my mother and I went and sat down, waiting for my hair wash. My mother’s hand automatically reached for a magazine. I looked around the room and noticed that two of the other hair stylists were staring and my mother and me. Instead of looking away, I met their stare and tilted my head slightly. I’ll have to admit, holding that stare was very difficult and awkward, but eventually, they both frowned and looked away, staring a conversation with one another.

A woman passed by my mother and I and asked if we would like to order anything. Before my mother could politely decline, I asked the woman if there was a menu I could look at to order food from. She gave me a strange look and apologized, saying they only served water and coffee.

After I had my hair washed, the hair stylist, Lawrence, came up to me. He asked me how I wanted to cut my hair. I told him I just wanted it trimmed. He proceeded with a joke, asking me if I wanted to cut it as short as my mother’s (my mom has a pixie-ish hair cut). My expression remained the same. He hesitated, upset at the fact that I didn’t laugh at his joke. He took the joke even further and asked me if I wanted to shave my head. I paid no attention to him. He frowned and started to cut my hair.

Throughout the haircut, he tried to start a conversation with me. I only replied with one-word answers, and at times, I wouldn’t even give him an answer. I don’t think I’ve ever had a faster hair cut in my life. It seems that by breaking the norms, I made him uncomfortable enough for him to just want to get rid of me as soon as possible.

I don’t blame my mother for not liking the “beauty salon experience.” I realized that it can be quite the awkward experience for someone who doesn’t like to be social with strangers. If you do participate in the conversations, you’ll feel uneasy. If you choose to ignore the norms and conversations, then you’ll receive negative sanctions from the employees, making your experience just as unpleasant. However, despite the potentially socially awkward situation, if you're looking for a good haircut - then this is definitely the place to go.

Born This Way.

As a film student, I’ve always analysed films and music videos for their technical aspects and their aesthetics – the way they were shot and edited and how that affected the over all look of the film and its meaning. Rarely have I ever analysed a film or music video for its content from a sociological perspective – who made the video/film, for whom the video/film was made, and how the content of that video/film affected its audience.

The first music video that came to my mind was Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.” The more I thought about it, the more I realized that any of Lady Gaga’s music videos could be analysed sociologically, as they have all had a massive impact on their viewers. “Born This Way,” which was released on May 2^nd, 2011, became an instant hit among her “Little Monsters.” It has also won major awards for its success.

The song and music video were intended for people who can be considered as being part of a minority group – people who are singled out from what the rest of society deems as “normal.” The message to this audience, then, is very clear: don’t be afraid of who you are – embrace it and don’t let it stop you from living your life to the fullest.  Not only do the lyrics emphasize this, but as does the content in the music video.

Lady Gaga is well known for breaking social norms in her videos – she pushes through all the socially constructed boundaries, not caring about the negative sanctions that may come with it. By doing this so in an excessively extreme manner, she shows her viewers and fans that it’s okay for them to be whoever they want to be – that they don’t have to care about what others say. She redefines the meaning of “beauty” and “normal” in her video, intentionally disfiguring her face to make herself look like a deviant.

Gaga’s success in affecting so many people can be credited to her achieved status – the fact that she was a “nobody” who fought to become somebody.  The fact that she used to be someone who was picked on and bullied in school and is now a “multi-platinum artist.” “Born This Way” and its music video have clearly positively impacted the lives of many. She has even inspired Campbell Kenneford, a transsexual teenage boy, to gather enough courage and live as a girl, disregarding and fighting off all bullying.

Through her actions, Gaga shows her viewers that society and the people in it define norms. She inspires people by letting them know they have the power to change and redefine their society’s norms.

Color Of Films

We can list a number of ways how films affect the socialization process for its audience. For example, films tend to set a trend of the current fashion sense, diet patterns, technological conformity with society, etc. Also, in the 21^st century, it is wise to assume that film goers definitely have a greater appeal for color films, in addition to the other incredible effects filmmakers tend to use, like 3D technology, special effects, pyro techniques, other graphic effects, etc. But foremost, color is on top that revolutionized the film viewing experience. And now, viewing and making a color film has become a norm in the world of cinema.

Fairly recently, while watching movies, I felt that the filmmaker’s use of color also has a potential for socialization process. These days, it is not very hard to notice that different genres are color-coded. For example, the horror genre is usually has a blue color gradient; romance tends to lean towards vivid colors like yellow and red; apocalyptic genres tend to be more washed out, or have a more grunge and grainy look to them. So, where is the socialization process in this?

Horror (Blue tone): The Sixth Sense (1999), Underworld (2003)

Romance (red or warm tones): Titanic (1997)

Post/Apocalyptic (Washed out tone): Book of Eli (2010), The Road (2009)

As an audience member, after I watch these films, I tend to view reality in that manner, just like any other socialization process. Whenever I think of romance, I feel the need of red, or vivid warm colors in the scene. Hence, I can understand why a candle light meal, or gift a red rose is more appropriate for a date. Another great example, how do all of you picture a post-apocalyptic world? What color scheme pops up in your imagination? Definitely not a green environment, definitely not a plain desert either; but rather, a barren land, with a washed out texture, just like the ones they depict in the movies. In other words, films are not only influencing the ways we act and behave, but also our thought process and imagination.